A few months after Cody turned 3 Kasey and I decided that it was time to take him to his first movie. Isabella was old enough that we thought she might do ok in the movie theater as well. We made the decision to go to a dollar theater because if one of the kids freaked out half way through, we could go home without spending too much money.
Dollar theaters are interesting places. I’ve only been to one or two that could really even be called a “theater”. The one we choose on this particular day was especially bad. The floor was so sticky that you had to practically use both hands to pry your shoe off of it with every step. We changed seats three different times because everywhere we tried had at least one broken seat. Eventually, I ended up sitting on a seat that had a broken spring and it poked me in the butt the entire movie anyway. I made the kids keep their hands in their pockets so they wouldn’t touch anything, and I probably sanitized their hands seven times before the movie even started. Thank heaven for pocket-size Purell.
We got to the movie a little bit early, and Kasey thought it might be best to let the kids walk around a little bit before the movie started so they could get all their wiggles out. I stayed and read my book to save our seats.
A few moments before the movie started Kasey and the kids walked back with a big bowl of popcorn. Kasey sat down and with wide eyes said, “You will never believe what just happened.” He proceeded to tell me the following story. Kasey made the decision to take the kids into the bathroom with him before they went to get popcorn. Apparently the men’s bathroom was more disgusting than the whole rest of the theater combined and hadn’t been cleaned for days. I can’t imagine how gross a normal men’s bathroom is. You would have to pay me a lot of money to even walk into a “clean” men’s bathroom, let alone one at a nasty dollar theater that hadn’t been cleaned for a week.
Kasey was very insistent that the kids stay away from all the walls and made sure they didn’t touch anything, but as he was peeing, Isabella started walking over to him. Without warning, she ran over, opened her mouth, and latched on to the pee-crusted urinal. By this time in the story I tasted vomit in my mouth and I’m sure my look of absolute horror was priceless. Isabella had never done anything like that in her entire life! She never sucked on things, rarely put anything in her mouth, and had never gone up to something and just put her mouth on it! I was horrified. I still, to this day, do not understand why she would choose that time, that terrible location, and that revolting object to suck on.
The rest of the story was that Kasey immediately picked her up, without even doing up his pants, ran her over to the sink, and started rinsing out her mouth as fast as he possibly could. After several minutes of rinsing, they went and got some popcorn to give him time to gather up as much courage as he could to come and tell me. I could hardly even focus on the movie, because all I could think about was how disgusted I was, and since that day I have vowed to myself that I will never ever ever again let one of my baby girls enter the vile confines of a men’s restroom.
So funny and true. I could not believe my eyes when she literally like saw the nook on the urinal and said 'That is going to feel so good on my lips'. She like almost jogged up to it. Open mouth right on the nasty ledge. I am way less disgusted by things like this, hence why I was peeing in there when Katie doesn't even use public bathrooms, but even this made my lips curl.
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